30 Days of Blogging Honesty – Day 12

Day 12 — My favorite song to dance and sing to when no one is looking…

“Dancing With Myself” – Billy Idol

Oh man!  I used to get ready for school/work almost everyday by busting a move to “Dancing With Myself!”  I love that jam.  One infamous morning in college, my music was up so loud and I was soooo in the solo dancing zone, I didn’t even hear it when my friends knocked and then opened my door!  There I was, half dressed, brushing my teeth, just dancing my little heart out.

It was one of those stories I never lived down.  Totally hilarious!

I love to dance pretty often, though.  If Lady Gaga or Brit Brit comes on, I’m up and dancing, for sure.  It’s just too much fun.

The moves inside me are just screaming to be let free:

happy hippie dancing to lady gaga’s “the queen”

As always, thanks for reading!! xoxo, hhr

I’m participating in a fun blogging event.  Tom Baker and Cherlyn Cochrane created the “30 Days of Blogging Honesty” challenge – chock full of 30 writing prompts + one dare at the end!  To read all the rules and prompts, click this link.

Check out the other bloggers playing along:

Participants
Cherlyn Cochrane
Jenn MikoLJMelanieLast Civilized WomanPrincesa MusangPrimadonna Zel,CarolineKoiAurathenaTerriblethinkerSleep and SalamiMarliz3ePrysmatiqueDLonelyStarAnonymousBurnNicoleSylvia GarzaMariana,NenskeiMyNakedBokkieBluefiadiarriesVeehCirraBannatreasuresSajeevHappyhippieroseTheFerkelTom Baker*Sofia*Everything Love & Lust,*TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

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30 Days of Blogging Honesty – Day 11

Day 11 — When I’ve had a really bad day the first thing (not person) I reach for is…

the couch. 

Howdy y’all, happy Saturday! I’m writing to you from sleepy eyes with tired hands.  This past week was another whirlwind doozy.  The move is getting closer and closer, and things have just been really hectic as our time in Hawaii is coming to an end, work is super busy, and yes – I’m still sick.  I’m on the mend though, and I’d rather be ill here and now than moving sick.

We have the comfiest soft couch; I just love our living room.  It’s such a soothing place to be, that’s for sure.

save some room for me, will ya?!?

I love to veg out when I’m stressed.

TV, snacks, comfy blankets, lots of pillows … and just zone out.  Having the pooch and Duggs with me is pretty great too.  Maybe if I can get a backrub or a foot massage out of it, that’s just incredible icing on the relaxation cake.

oh yeah, that's the good stuff right there

A good second place option is the bathtub.  I LOVE taking a nice, long, hot bath after a stressful day.  I love bringing a compy into the bathroom and watching streaming TV or movies, or listening to music or a podcast.

Yeah, I’m really good at just vegging out.  I love simple distraction to help my brain unwind.

Today was short and sweet, huh?!?

as always, thanks for reading!! xoxo, hhr

I’m participating in a fun blogging event.  Tom Baker and Cherlyn Cochrane created the “30 Days of Blogging Honesty” challenge – chock full of 30 writing prompts + one dare at the end!  To read all the rules and prompts, click this link.

Check out the other bloggers playing along:

Participants
Cherlyn Cochrane
Jenn MikoLJMelanieLast Civilized WomanPrincesa MusangPrimadonna Zel,CarolineKoiAurathenaTerriblethinkerSleep and SalamiMarliz3ePrysmatiqueDLonelyStarAnonymousBurnNicoleSylvia GarzaMariana,NenskeiMyNakedBokkieBluefiadiarriesVeehCirraBannatreasuresSajeevHappyhippieroseTheFerkelTom Baker*Sofia*Everything Love & Lust,*TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

30 Days Continues – Day 10: The Last Time I Snooped…

Day 10 — The last time I snooped into something I wasn’t supposed to (like a medicine cabinet in a friend’s bathroom), I found…

a whole lot of trouble for myself. 

Ehh.

Curiosity killed the cat.  If you go dig, you’ll get your hands dirty.

Snooping, huh?  I used to snoop.  I used to have a hard time trusting in serious relationships, and I used to be too curious for my own good.  When I put my mind to it, I can have this detective-like ability to sort through facts, find patterns, figure out out the order of events.  I like to try and predict what will happen next.

nothing gets by me! image from here.

It’s not that I have a good BS-detector, I have a great memory for conversations and details, and I also observe.  A lot.  I can notice when things don’t match up.  When someone changes a detail about a story, when an item is out of place, when something physically seems off.

I’m not so straightforward and cold though.  Not at all.  I actually have a weird mix of perception sensors.  In many many ways, I’m super gullible, naive – I trust too easily.  I like to think that I can read people and then based off the impression I get, I’ll either trust very easily or be looking for BS all the time.  It burns me.  Often!  I’ve been fooled by people in real life and online.  I dated a really serious pathological liar, I dated a really scary psycho guy too – because I was a poor judge of character.

I see the good in everyone, and that often blinds me from the bad. 

the glass is half-full, y'all! always. photo from here.

But, I do have good strong instincts, it’s just a matter of properly applying them.

So.  When was the last time I snooped?  Some people will read this and right away know what I’m talking about.  There was a member of an online community I’m part of who struck me as being “off.”  I noticed some stories didn’t line up, it seemed like the whole projection of this person didn’t really add up to something believable.

"my name is tiffany, i'm 22, blonde, and i love modeling... i just don't post pics because i'm shy." been there, done that! image from this page.

I was “close” with this person, too.  We talked on the phone, we texted.  I felt like we “knew” each other.  So taking a step back to see the reality was very, very hard for me.  Due to some serious commonalities, it was hard to take the wool off my eyes and really consider that maybe this person was lying.

So, I did a little snooping.  I’m not a hacker though, and I don’t live near this person (according to where this person claims to live).  Snooping was hard.  I tried my best.  I dug through some old posts and compared details.  I talked to others who knows this person and got their take on things.

To say it ended badly is a serious understatement.  It was terrible.

This character did not go down without a fight.  I lost other “friends” over it, and things haven’t been the same since.  It was really ugly and hurtful, and I still consider most of what went down to be unfair.

friends were lost, backs were turned. sad face. pic source.

I called a spade a spade, and some people just didn’t want to hear that.

Honestly, I feel like the others being duped weren’t offended at being played and instead many were miffed that I wanted to stir up the peace.  Others thought I was the one full of crap.  Accused of drama-seeking and manipulation, some angry parties, loyal to the other person totally flipped out on me.  I was called a bully (and anyone who knows me for real can tell you that these days, I’m about as far from a bully as people come).

It was tough.  Being called a liar and accused of being shady really got under my skin, I took the fallout really personally.  You see, I’m a super transparent person.  You can spend five seconds checking out my online life and get a pretty full picture of who I am.  I have multiple outlets that all match up – photos, writing style, my real life interactions with others, social media, even third party confirmation of who I am (like being published on various sites, appearances on the news and stuff like that) … just proof of who I am and what I do abounds.

i am whatever i say i am. what you see is what you get!

Not to mention, I’ve gone out and personally met so many members of this specific community – I felt so confused at being so misunderstood.  I thought after years of friendship and how clearly open/public I am about who I am, that people would see my POV much more readily than they did.

Because I’m so open, it’s harder for me to take people seriously who are super “private.”  I know that not everyone wants to spill their guts online… but some privacy is just too much, and it reeks of BS.

When no photo of you exists, and your phone breaks, when you’ve never met anyone else in real life, when you don’t go by your real name or provide any details that can help confirm a real life – it just seems fishy to me.

So anyways.  I snooped, I found what I consider to be evidence of fakery and lying… and it blew up on me.

rose duggan, interwebs detective. this is me looking serious at the compy.

and... kaboom. image from here.

Every time I’ve snooped in the past, it’s ended badly, honestly.

I’ve found stuff that I wish I could un-see.  I’ve discovered things that hurt my feelings.  When I think about people snooping around in my stuff and my life, I don’t really like the idea at all.  I put enough of myself out there, so what I keep private – I would really like to stay private.  I’ve had my identity stolen before, and my home broken into, my online email and social media hacked and used in an anti-Semitic hate crime (hateful photo captions and posts were published on my MySpace and my original Fb accounts, calling me “an ugly fat Jew” and so on) – and having MY STUFF snooped into really really hurt me.  Knowing that my closet and drawers had been rifled through, disturbed me.  Big time.

I found out an ex was online dating, because I snooped on his phone.  That hurt.  I found out about drug use by snooping through someone’s trash can and that was awful (disclaimer – I was coerced into that one, though.  I was a kid).

Bottom line? Snooping sucks.  

I’ve come a LONG WAY as far as self confidence and my own strength goes.  I no longer feel this need to look for for things.  Duggs and I have a really cool policy about email accounts and stuff like that – we’re anti-snooping.  We both have each other’s passwords for everything, but we only use them for legit purposes (like when he was deployed, I could check his email if need be, etc.).  But pleasure reading his inbox? Nope.  Not gonna happen!

For now, I’ll keep my detective skills to predicting the end of TV shows and books.

as always, thanks for reading!! xoxo, hhr

Wondering what this is Day 10 of – and where the idea to write about snooping came from in the first place?

It’s 30 Days of Blogging Honesty:

I’m participating in a fun blogging event.  Tom Baker and Cherlyn Cochrane created the “30 Days of Blogging Honesty” challenge – chock full of 30 writing prompts + one dare at the end!  To read all the rules and prompts, click this link.

Check out the other bloggers playing along:

Participants
Cherlyn Cochrane
Jenn MikoLJMelanieLast Civilized WomanPrincesa MusangPrimadonna Zel,CarolineKoiAurathenaTerriblethinkerSleep and SalamiMarliz3ePrysmatiqueDLonelyStarAnonymousBurnNicoleSylvia GarzaMariana,NenskeiMyNakedBokkieBluefiadiarriesVeehCirraBannatreasuresSajeevHappyhippieroseTheFerkelTom Baker*Sofia*Everything Love & Lust,*TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

30 Days of Blogging Honesty – Day Nine

It’s Day Nine of the 30 Days of Blogging Honesty

Well, it’s day nine for me here at happy hippie rose!  I kinda tend to work at my own pace, huh?  The 30 Days of Blogging Honesty is a writing event, created by Tom Baker and Cherlyn Cochrane; you can check out the rules and see all of the prompts right here.

Day 09 — When the cashier gives me this amount of money for change I know it’s too much money to dump in the charity bucket…

(stand by for a bunch of possible answers.  go figure!)

-Quarters. 

If there are a bunch of quarters in the change I’m handed, I like to keep those!  Actual quarters are so useful, and once you get ’em, you need to hold on the them.  They’re the only things parking meters take, for one example.

Idk, I just always consider quarters to be legit coinage, a piece that’s useful and worth lugging around and allowing to crazily jingle jangle away in the abyss of my purse.

-Or, anything more than a few bucks?

I mean, I’m not trying to throw $20 into a random charity jar.  Or am I?  These kinds of things are what I just go with the flow on.  If the mood strikes me, I’ll toss all my change in.  If I’m distracted, or in a rush… or just whatever, maybe I won’t?

My husband and I are not rich, far from it.  But we do make great efforts to give as much as we can, as often as we can.  I honestly think we’re pretty generous.  So if I happen to skip some charity jars here and there, I don’t feel so bad.  I know that we help out and do lots of good.

-Or, depends on what else I need cash for, how broke we are, for what charity the money in the jar is being collected.

Yeah, there are a lot of factors.  If I had a twenty and I’m about to make another stop for which I need that cash – then I hold on to it!

And, I’m picky about the charities I’ll donate too.  I can be really picky, sometimes.  I have certain things I look for in an org when I’m going to give them moolah.

There’s always a few things that go into making these kinds of choices.  Sometimes it’s willy-nilly, sometimes it a well thought out decision that I’m making.

At the holidays, of course, I like to sling money around more than usual.  We try to give as much as we can.  When we give away, it blesses us!  Giving is good and it’s fun, and it’s very important.  So I love to help whenever I can, and my hubs is the most generous dude I’ve ever met – he loves to as well.

But, we have our own limits, and we have to be careful not to literally go broke by giving away too much to others.

We’re big tippers.  We always make sure to give at least 20% when we eat out.  We tip food delivery folks, the baggers at the commy, the valet.  Everyone, we tip!  I’d say we’re probably stingier with the random charity jars than tipping  – just because if we’re going out or using a service that merits a tip, we make sure to tip.  We don’t always budget out a charity jar being by the register, and like I’ve already said – sometimes I’m picky about the specific charity.

-Or… we don’t have cash! So nothing. 

I’m a plastic gal.  I hardly ever have cash on me.  In the past when I’ve worked in restaurant and bar jobs, I’ve exclusively used cash.  But usually it’s the ole debit card that I have on hand.  So there isn’t even any change to consider.  Sorry ole charity jar!  That’s why using instant pay online is a great way to give to charity.  It’s deliberate, quick, I can look up the org before I push “send,” and I don’t have to have actual hard money on me.

As always, thanks for reading!  xoxo, hhr

Having fun reading these?

I’m loving the 30 Days of Blogging Honesty!  It’s been a hoot, that’s for sure.

Check out the other folks playing along: Cherlyn CochraneJenn MikoLJMelanieLast Civilized WomanPrincesa MusangPrimadonna ZelCarolineKoiAurathenaTerriblethinkerSleep and SalamiMarliz3ePrysmatiqueDLonelyStarAnonymousBurnNicoleSylvia GarzaMarianaNenskeiMyNakedBokkieBluefiadiarriesVeehCirra,BannatreasuresSajeevHappyhippieroseTheFerkelTom Baker*Sofia*Everything Love & Lust*TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

30 Days of Blogging Honesty – Day Eight

Now I’m catching up to speed, huh?  I’m finally about comfy with where I’m at.  And now I really mean it – I’ll slow down to just one a day, and I’ll try my very best to keep up with the one a day. 

I’m participating in 30 Days of Blogging Honesty, a blogging event created by Tom Baker and Cherlyn Cochrane; you can check out the rules and see all of the prompts right here.

Day 08 — If I could afford it, the piece of famous artwork you would find in my home is…

Perhaps one of these large George Korsmit pieces?

stole this pic from the artful desperado's blog.

another george korsmit, this one is from over here.

Check out more about Korsmit here, at a cool blog that I love to regularly read, The Artful Desperado.

What I’d probably love to have the most is a display of Charles Clary boxes.

The Artful Desperado also did a recent feature on these amazing handcut paper boxes made by Charles Clary.  I just recently learned of this artist and his technique, but I am so into them.  I find myself looking up pics at random times, and I keep imagining how they’re made… I fantasize about trying to do something similar on my own.

The cuts are so cool or ornate, and the color palettes are so perfect.  I’m in awe of artists who have such an awesome command of colors, and who goes with who, complimentary tones and shades.

Idk, these just evoke so much wonder for me.  Check them out:

a charles clary box - looks like stalagmites, right?

it's like a brain or the magical insides of some flower.

i found this one on a tumblr of tagged charles clary boxes. so awesome.

Art is one of those things, it’s SUCH a huge topic.  Just pick an art you like.  Oh man.  I like oh so many arts.  I can literally think of thousands of pieces I’d die to own.  And my house is hardly the kind with gallery walls and legit lighting.  But still, I love artwork of all kinds.

One of my recent regrets is never truly studying art.  I wish I’d have taken at least a survey class at some point.  I wish I had a command of art school jargon, so I could talk about a painting that I like and not sound like an idiot/hack/poser/child.  I wish I could stroll through a museum and cough up a reasonable reaction to what I see.

It’s also like having a song in your head.  As long as I’m looking at these Charles Clary boxes, I just can’t think of other choices.  I’m trying to avoid being trite and saying something famous enough that everyone and anyone can recognize.  And I don’t want to be a snooty jerkenstein and try to mention something all fancy and rare, unheard of – just for the sake of knowing/liking stuff that isn’t mainstream.

And well, just spitting out a couple recent posts from a blog I follow isn’t very original or clever either, now is it?

I’d be HONORED to own any piece from Jake Roth’s Pathways collection.

here's an image from pathways, one of the safest ones that i can post here.

Be very careful, these are artistic nudes and they are so NSFW.  They’re incredible though.  Here’s the link to buy prints, so you can see the collection. Jake is an amazing photog and a personal friend, I love this series and I’m honored to actually be a part of it.  I won’t pretend that mine photos are the best though, and there are so many others I’d prefer to have over my own.

It’s still so cool to be a part of something so pretty, that’s so well received by most everyone who encounters the collection.

My Dad and Stepmom own one of the coffee-table books that Jake printed, and I think it’s really awesome actually.   They’re very supportive and not judgmental, they appreciate the project for the beauty of what it is.  Maybe that’s weird for some people, but I’m comfy with my participation in Pathways – it’s natural, it’s very symbolic (I was able to choose my path, and the locations I shot in represent a lot to me), and it’s all about coming through life’s challenges, making our own paths, finding our way – and I’m proud of my own path, where I’ve come from and where I’m going.

and finally…

I’d be cool with having a Herakut mural in my house.

a herakut piece in germany, link here.

Typically street art, it would be kinda wack to have something just up in my living room – and I could never imagine anything contained in a frame.  But to have them actually come and make something inside our house would be so rad.

The style is so creepy and dark, I’m not sure if actually having one in my house would weird me out sometimes?  I wonder what visitors would think.  I’m so cheerful and homey is my decor choices these days, lol.

When I was in NYC in 2009, my friend Lynnie and I went to a teeny gallery that was showing some Herakut stuffs.  We hauled way out of our way to go check it out, because I’d heard about the show on Wooster Collective and I really wanted to see it in real life.  I totally liked it, thought it was super cool, and just the feeling of reading something on a blog and then being able to go seek it out for myself was very rad (and not something that often happens when you’re from the sticks!)

my own snapshot from the nyc showing in 2009.

So there you have it: Kormit, Clary, Roth, and Herakut.  Interesting hodgepodge, huh?  That’s so me, though.  I could keep going, I assure.  And if I did… the mix would just wackier and wackier.  I’m sure I’d start to get some tacky Americana handicraft stuff, Amish quilts, more photography… who knows what else.  Like I said, this is one of those things that’s so massively wide open and broad, it’s just about impossible to make any kind of real narrowing down.

Glad you came by to read yet another post TODAY.  I know I’m a beast, but at least I’m good and caught up now!

As always, thanks for reading!! xoxo, hhr

Want to see who else is playing?  Check out this list: Cherlyn CochraneJenn MikoLJMelanieLast Civilized WomanPrincesa MusangPrimadonna ZelCarolineKoiAurathenaTerriblethinkerSleep and SalamiMarliz3ePrysmatiqueDLonelyStarAnonymousBurnNicoleSylvia GarzaMarianaNenskeiMyNakedBokkieBluefiadiarriesVeehCirra,BannatreasuresSajeevHappyhippieroseTheFerkelTom Baker*Sofia*Everything Love & Lust*TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

Read the crap I’ve already spewed as part of this 30 Day craziness: Here’s my introDay OneDays Two, Three and FourDay FiveDay Six, Day Seven.

30 Days of Blogging Honesty – Day 7

Alright, alright – I’m hellbent on playing a quick catch up here.  I mean business!  Upper respiratory funk?  So what!  I’ve given up enough of my precious time and productivity to this sickness (was there a productive cough pun in there?  you betcha!). 

Today is another catch up day: here’s “day seven.”

I know I posted “day six” just a little while ago, but I’m trying to get back on track and post in line with the other participants.  So you’re getting another installment today, and it’s a doozy!  (Seriously, as per usual I went nuts and just typed and typed and typed).  Not everyone participating is exactly on the same day, and that’s okay – but I don’t want to be a week behind.  This is getting close enough for me though, and I’ll probably go back to one a day after this.

I’m super duper thankful for everyone’s patience, all the new readers who I’ve met during this event so far (I love that new people have been checking out my happy hippie place! hooray!), I love the encouragement… and even though I never imagined I’d write about poop and pre-marital sex, I’m excited to have something pushing me.

Don’t know what I’m talking about?  Read up here, my intro.  I’m participating in 30 Days of Blogging Honesty, a blogging event created by Tom Baker and Cherlyn Cochrane; you can check out the rules and see all of the prompts right here.

Want to see who else is playing?  Check out this list: Cherlyn CochraneJenn MikoLJMelanieLast Civilized WomanPrincesa MusangPrimadonna ZelCarolineKoiAurathenaTerriblethinkerSleep and SalamiMarliz3ePrysmatiqueDLonelyStarAnonymousBurnNicoleSylvia GarzaMarianaNenskeiMyNakedBokkieBluefiadiarriesVeehCirra,BannatreasuresSajeevHappyhippieroseTheFerkelTom Baker*Sofia*Everything Love & Lust*TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

Read the crap I’ve already spewed as part of this 30 Day craziness: Day One, Days Two, Three and Four, Day FiveDay Six.

That’s a lot of links, eh?  If you’ve any time at all left to actually read this post, let’s get to it now!

….

Day 07 — I went to see a psychic, and was given the opportunity to ask three questions – I would ask…

Nothing? 

I don’t really believe in psychics to tell you the truth.  At least not most of the ones, the kind that charge a bunch of money and claim to read your future.  Many of the ones I’ve ever encountered seem to be rip-off city.  And well, you can never truly know the intentions of someone trying to use and harness supernatural powers.  That kind of stuff can get real serious and real dangerous, and I’m not sure it’s such a good idea to go and open yourself up to that kind of thing.

heh, this cracks me up. do you agree? money-making scam? or legit future/spirit insights? image was found here.

Don’t get me wrong – I believe in psychics.  I’ve had plenty of my own unexplainable encounters, I know that the supernatural is real.  I’m open-minded to all kinds of unexplainable things… I truly believe I’ve experienced ghosts (or whatever you want to call that phenomenon), I think that there are all kinds of things that go on that we don’t understand or even know about, non-human supernatural things.  God and Jesus are supernatural entities, as well as the miracles and all kinds of wonders explained in the Bible (immaculate conception and burning bushes aren’t the typical stuff our earthly existence is made of).

So it’s not for lack of believing!

My viewpoint and thoughts on this matter are actually because of how serious I know this type of stuff can be.  Some things we just shouldn’t go meddling in.  Self-protection is one thing, being faced with something when you don’t ask for it or open yourself up to it is one thing – going out, seeking it, looking for trouble, that’s another thing altogether!

I’ve been to psychics in the past and from my experience there’s a lot of bullcrap that goes on, a lot of generic fluff that could be true for anyone.  Sometimes I think I have my own borderline insights.  I’ve had dreams come true, I’ve guessed things or known things that I had no way of knowing based on the info available to me.  My hunches and instincts are usually pretty right-on, and in an attempt to be modest and keep my nose out of trouble, I chalk it up to being a good observer, with good common sense, people skills and insight.

I used to be REALLY superstitious.  Probably OCD (I’ve been diagnosed as OCD by two diff doctors, I do NOT use that term as slang or hyperbole for when I’m quirky or hyper-organized, I mean legit OCD).

In an attempt to break off some of my more intrusive habits, the ones that infringe on my day-to-day like (like counting steps all the time, being unable to pick anything up that’s “face down” on the floor, and so on… they get way worse)… so in order to break off of the control these weird unfounded fake beliefs had over me AND to show my true faith and trust in God, I walked away from a lot of this crap.

gah! this so used to be me, all of these and more. i'd make my own up too. my mom used to always tell me those little superstition rhymes.. i think that's where it started for me. found this image over here.

I used to make up ultimatums all time – weird stuff.  I’d tell myself, “if I grab a red Skittle first without looking, I’m going to have really good luck today,”  or “if my friend calls me back within 3 minutes, it means I’m totally going to pass my test.”  It gets weirder too… it gets more intense.  I hated all the counting I would do, I used to do this weird “layered thought” thing where I’d narrate all of my thoughts and once I would start doing it, it was so hard to turn off.  Like when you think about breathing, it takes so long to go back to just breathing without obsession.

So yeah.  I decided to make a clean break.  No more rituals.  No more counting, over-thinking, no making weird fictional “deals” with myself.  No horoscopes.  No tarot cards, numerology, none of it.  So in that pile, I toss on psychics and other seers. I think that God is stoked on my decision.  I’m telling Him that I trust Him, and things will happen in His time, as He sees fit, according to His plan.  And my end of the deal is to chill, let life happen, have faith, and handle things as they happen – and reach out to God whenever I need reassurance, help, comfort, guidance.  Him and Him alone!

i love this pic - I turn to my God for all my needs. I found this pretty picture right over here.

But… of course there’s a but.  This IS the 30 days of blogging HONESTLY, and I have some hypocrisy to cop to.

I watch the TLC Reality Show, Long Island Medium.  It’s the wackiest show, I know.  I actually first started reading it as more of a lark than anything serious.  The star of the show, Theresa Caputo, is so very over the top.  She’s a super stereotypical Long Island mom who claims to be a medium – she has access to the spirit world of deceased people, and she can communicate with these souls.

here's theresa, the long island medium! have you ever seen this show?

(^The pic above is from TLC’s website.  I’m giving you the link here, because the last time I opened it up to check it out, it totally froze + crashed my whole browser (Chrome).  So annoying, right?  I hate that.  The page runs slow and takes forever to load… so I’m pretty miffed right now, lol.  I also am trying my durndest to NOT be superstitious.  I sit here and say how I’m not into psychics and people who try to meddle with the super natural, and then I go and blab about this one medium I’m okay watching and bam! The page for her show crashes.  Is that a sign?  Or just coincidence.  You tell me.)

My Duggs is from Strong Island, so when I first heard about this show I had to tune in just to get a good giggle.  He loves where he’s from, and he’s also super annoyed at all the crazy behavior that just screams I’m-from-Long-Island!!  I tuned in to get a laugh back in the first season, and what I found instead was the really sweet show about a pretty amazing lady.

she's soooooo long island! photo from this site.

She claims to love God, she’s a Christian.  And what she does (as portrayed on the show) is actually a nice thing.  Her “gift” brings an awful lot of closure and peace to people.  She delivers messages of hope, encouragement, love and peace to those she “reads.”   Theresa claims that “spirit” (that’s her word for this other plane that she communicates with) seeks her out, it’s something she can’t shut off or ignore.  She’ll be out running errands and feel compelled to tell total strangers the messages she feels nagging at her, she also takes private paid readings.  It’s her career.  She says her bookings are full for more than a year in advance, she’s world-renowned.

she makes hilarious and awesome facial expressions, she's such a character! found this photo here too.

I’ve seen the old John Edward show, Crossing Over.  I thought that guy was super fugazi. He did those big studio audience readings… he’s say, “I’m getting the letter A… does anyone have the letter A?”  Everyone knows the letter A, so a ton of hands would go up – “My mother was Annette,” or “My cousin passed and we used to call him Ace as a nickname,” “I’m from Austin, TX – it’s where my uncle died.”  And then he’d pick one and keep going with more vague imagery, and often the person being read would lead him there, proving the info he needed.  That + strong observation + educated guesses + who knows what back-stage pre-show research went on = he could deliver a reading that seemed impressive.

john edward, totally bologna - right? what are your thoughts? found this pic on this page.

Theresa does the letter thing, and she scribbles down little notes… like times, numbers, catch phrases, expressions.  On a recent episode she was reading a widow and Theresa wrote down “11:11.”  When she asked the client if that meant anything, she said, “Do you know what 11:11 means?  Do you find yourself always looking at the clock when it’s 11:11?’  The client said that her husband died at 11:11, and she always notices that time.

She’ll do the letter thing, sometimes she guesses a name… “They’re telling M, like Mike or Mark.”  “Oh yeah, Michael was my brother.”

The 11:11 thing could go either way.  LOTS of people notice the clock when it’s 11:11, right? It’s a superstitious time.  I think that people who would be down to chat with a medium are likely the kind to be into other beliefs like that.

But when she pulls these other things out of thin air, I’m impressed.  She’ll know the way someone died, she’ll bring up memories of specific events, or talk about significant things – she knows the hobbies and interests of those who passed, she’ll be able to describe the personality of someone.  She claims that all she knows about the client is their first name and a phone number (in case she needs to cancel and/or to confirm the appt time).  And like I said, she’s always going up to total strangers.  All kinds of super skeptics give testimonials after a reading saying that Theresa knew details and tidbits that there’s no way she could have known.

Here’s a video clip that shows a little bit about what she does and in her own words she explains her abilities:

Long Island Medium Star Discusses Her Gift

(if that doesn’t work – my attempt to embed it – here’s the link).

(Why do I always write so much?  Why am I so long winded?).

Anyways.  I’m not sure how I feel about her.  I think that if her ability to connect to the dead is real, well, that’s AMAZING.  For so many people, death brings with it a lot of unanswered questions, hurt feelings, loose ends.  If there’s a woman who can bring peace and closure – well, I think that’s a wonderful thing to offer others.  I get the impression that she truly has good and noble intentions.

I fully admit that I’m super duper gullible, easily duped.  I’m naïve as all get out.

But, I do like her.  I get the vibe that she’s a good woman and she’s helping others.  She’s a family lady – her kids and hubby are on the show too.  And she’s funny, thoughtful, she seems to really take her gift seriously and she employs a lot of tact.  Well, she is from Long Island… so how one defines “tact” is up in the air, lol.  She’s delicate when she has something sensitive in nature to say, though.

Another cool video, the show’s producer explains Theresa, the show, readings, how it works, and more:

Long Island Medium’s Executive Producer

(again, the link in case that doesn’t show up the right way).

So, maybe she is evil or on the wrong side of the spiritual spectrum, and she is using her powers for dark purposes… maybe she’s in communication with the devil and that’s where she gets her insight?  Perhaps she’s unwittingly doing so.  I know that those things are vital to consider, and I don’t rule anything out.  I don’t know, nor do I have a way of knowing.

But, I sure do believe in the gift of prophecy.  I know that sometimes God really does use us to help one another in a special way, providing us with divine insight.

Also, I’ve read “Heaven is For Real” and I totally believe the story the Burpo family tells.  (If you haven’t read it yet, do so!  It’s a quick read and it will just warm your heart.  A little boy technically “dies” during surgery and has an incredible vivid experience in Heaven with Jesus).

love this book! here, go check out the amazon site to read more about it. it's also whereabouts i snagged this lovely pic.


So, I’m very open-minded to all kinds of paranormal / supernatural occurrences.  I want Theresa to be legit, and I want her to be on the good team, a believer in God, and speaking the truth about the people who are up in Heaven with Him. I really want her to be for real!

If Theresa was legit and good and her gift is God-given AND I had the chance to get a reading from her… I can think of three things (at least!) that I’d want to know.  Oh man, there are so many things I’d like to know.  But this prompt asked me to name three.

1. Are all of my deceased loved ones doing okay?  Are they all in Heaven? (of course I’m asking multi-part questions! ha!).

2. Are the encounters that I’ve had with deceased loved ones real?  Was it really them – when I sense someone watching or with me, looking out for me, is that real?

3. Are there any messages for me or for other living loved ones that I can pass along to offer peace, closure, or say something that needs to be said?

I’d love to know more.  I can be patient though.  I know that once I get to Heaven (to which I’m in no rush to do, I love being alive and in this life on earth), I’ll get to be reunited with everyone, and I’ll get to have so many questions answered.  But there’s a lot of sadness amongst my family over people who’ve been taken too soon, I have passed friends who I think about often, and I miss them.

I’m named after my maternal Grandmother.  She died before I was born, but I have so much in common with her, and I so badly want to know her.  I’d love to have a conversation with her, to know that she’s proud of me and she watches out for me.  I want to know that she’s in peace now and she’s not suffering anymore.

Yeah, if I ever got the chance to really break that barrier and have a chat with our angels there would be tons of things to talk about.  A million questions to ask.

I guess from the tone of this blog and my abundant enthusiasm, it’s plain to see that I really do dig Theresa Caputo and I extend a lot of credit to her.  It’s a balancing act though, a fine line.  I don’t ever want to follow a false prophet or insult God – I don’t want to get mixed up in something dark or bad, evil or untrue.  I know when it boils down, the best and safest, most sure way to do just this is to trust only God!

But much like I trust in various Pastors to teach me about God’s Word, interpret, to pray for me or with me… I think there’s some amount of trusting one another that’s okay.  Usually I just defer to my gut and my hunches (it is, afterall, that part of God within me that steers and guides my own conscience).

So while I must play it safe and keep Daddio as #1 forevs – I do have curiosities, which I hope are harmless.

WHEW!

Was that a doozy of a post or what?  Man.  These crazy prompts, I tell ya!  I was going to try and write up Days Seven AND EIGHT in here but yeah, I went on way too long for all that.  Times a million.

Stay tuned for day eight’s post very soon, and keep encouraging me.  Are you digging these 30 Days?  I feel like I’m certainly finding inspiration in the topics and that while doing so I’m getting out of my normal comfort zone.  It’s been fun, albeit very very wacky.

As always, thanks for reading!! xoxo, hhr


30 Days of Blogging Honesty – Day 6

Day 06 — My worst cooking disaster involved _____________ and this person/these people…

rice and my family, when I was growing up. 

I’m going to do one of the blog-a-day things, in conjunction with other bloggers.  It’s this one, called “30 Days of Blogging Honesty.”

My family is pretty Italian.  I grew up just knowing how to make pasta, now I can make all kinds of Italian fare from scratch, it’s certainly my comfort area in the kitchen.  I’ve since branched out and I do like to cook quite a lot.

But there’s this one ridic incident that stands out in my mind so clearly!

I must have been like 12 or so… and I offered to make dinner.  I can’t even remember what the whole meal was, I just know that there was rice involved.  I’ve NEVER been the kind of person who reads instructions.  In fact, I always just jump into a project and teach myself… I do the same in the kitchen too, hardly ever consulting recipes.  Now a days, it works out alright for me, I have a great natural sense of flavors.  I have a good sense of direction, good instincts.

But back in the day, tween Rose had NO IDEA how to cook rice.

I thought it was just like pasta, and so I just filled up the pot with water.  I didn’t measure how much water, I thought I could drain it later.  I didn’t realize there was a precise absorption thing going on with the making of rice.

Instead of cooking, the whole pot turned into this terrible weird paste.  It was rice mush.  Basically, porridge.

My Dad laughed SO HARD.  Man, he still cracks up about that rice ordeal to this day!  The best part was that even my little sister knew how to make rice, and as the whole thing played out – she was cracking up too.  Even she knew you had to measure the water!

My whole family just LOLed hardcore.  To this day, they still ask if I’ll be cooking rice or if I need some help, etc.  It’s a long running family joke.

I’ve made all kinds of crazy cooking snafus, but that’s totally the earliest one, one that really stands out in my memory.

As always, thanks for reading! xoxo, hhr

30 Days of Blogging Honesty: Day 5

Day 05 — This is embarrassing but on average I cause the toilet to overflow about this many times a year because of deposits I made…

oy.

If you don’t want to read about poop and other such unsavory things, stop here.  I mean it! I have GI troubles galore, and I’ve been through nursing school.  When it comes to all things bowel, I can talk and talk and talk, and not get grossed out and well, I know not everyone shares my blase approach towards all things fecal.

I clog the toilet sometimes. 

Wanna know what gives with the weird question?  I’m playing a blogging game, participating in a fun blogging event.  Tom Baker and Cherlyn Cochrane created the “30 Days of Blogging Honesty” challenge – chock full of 30 writing prompts + one dare at the end!  Yowzers, it’s been wacky and fun, pushing me to write outside of my own comfort zone as well as to adhere to a schedule of posting (which I’ve been hit and miss on, so far).

To read all the rules and prompts, click this link.

In fact, the first clog in our Hawaii house actually just happened like two weeks ago.  It was a tandem clog.  I triggered the plumbing’s sensitivity, then Duggs forgot that potty was off-limits until I could fix it, and yep.  He good and clogged it, we’re talking overflowing all over the place.  A brown-water back up.

It was nasty.

It led to a new purchase, actually.  Check out this little gem we’re not the proud owners of:

new plunger/brush combo = so sweet!

Why do I have GI drama?

I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease when I was 19 years old.  I had two surgeries, took more meds than any college-aged gal should ever have to take, and when it was all said and done I was down an appendix, a bunch of bowel, and part of my colon.  The meds never made an impact on my “very aggressive” disease, and my bowel kept swelling, turning red, getting more diseased, more problematic, not processing or absorbing food and just basically giving me all kinds of agita.

Now, it looks like the reasons my trusty barrage of Crohn’s meds never worked is because I never had Crohn’s after all.  It seems like the blood disease I have, Porphyria, can cause nerve cell death in the GI tract, and that would mimic/emulate the kind of damage that an advanced and aggressive case of Crohn’s could do.

Wacky, huh?

So.  Now I’m left with shortened-bowel syndrome.  I have a very fast track, a nice anastomosis where the resection was clipped and re-connected, and some scar tissue that isn’t much of a problem now, but has been in the past (in ’09 I had a bunch of pelvic scar tissue zapped out with a small surgical procedure).

Add the pre-existing bowel dramz to the last 15 months of weird ear pain / medical malady / porphyria stuff … and it gets interesting.  The meds I’m on now actually cause constipation.  For someone used to going like eight or so times a day, being clogged up is AWFUL.  It’s so weird, foreign, frustrating, yucky.

On top of the meds I take for my other issue, now I take meds to make me go.  I drink PEG (miralax, it’s actually PEG powder that you mix with water, Polyethylene glycol, aka: “GoLYTELY”) every single day, I have a natural senna tea that I make.  I take 4 stool softener capsules a day too.  My intake of fiber and dairy are closely monitored.  I pay attention to what I eat all the time, always wondering if something will have an adverse effect on my very fragile homeostasis.

mmm, PEG! my favorite cocktail.

While the actual clogging of a toilet isn’t such a super often occurrence in our home… the opportunity for a situation to occur is right there, waiting in the wings.  My potty problems are plentiful, yes.

It’s something that I’m not even weird about discussing, I don’t usually mind it.  I guess the context just depends, the company I’m in will dictate how comfy I am with the details.  I used to think that I was totally normal.  When my college roomies sat me down and explained to me that I go too much, I felt like they were just picking on me.  “Everyone poops, don’t make me feel like a freak!” was my defense… constant BMs had become so very normal to me, I thought everyone went every waking hour.  I really did.

Once my GI problems were identified, it’s just been a constant battle.  I’m always having tummy aches and pains, I’m always having issues.  After my bowel resection, I was still in pain.  And not just your regular ole post-op pain, it was hurting just as it had before the surgery.  I told my docs and they thought I was nuts, they told me I had phantom pain, actually.  A C-scope later revealed that they hadn’t been able to remove all of the diseased tissue.  Crohn’s often presents with “skip lesions” – both another reason why what I had looks so much like Crohn’s and another reason why it’s hard to cut it all out.  Skip lesions are areas of disease that skip over areas of normal tissue, making the problem stretch out longer, making it harder to just cut out a bad part.

image credits: john hopkins g.i.

image credit: john hopkins g.i.

Luckily for me, I’ve never had a colostomy or ileostomy or any bag.  It’s been a HUGE fear of mine though, I always worry that someday it could happen for me.  I know it’s not the end of life and that millions of people live with worse things everyday.  For me, born in a bikini and spending so much time coming and going, hopping and bopping… it feels like it would be an epic game changer.  One that would be hard to deal with on many levels.  So, since I’m not one to stew in fear, I always just push that idea out of mind and stay thankful that it hasn’t come to it yet, not even close.

I have had a lot of other issues all in that same spot of pelvis where my gut is re-attached.  I’ve had a hernia there (repaired with mesh), I have ovarian cysts in that right ovary, which is right there.  I don’t have an appendix anymore, I’ve had to get scar tissue removed because it was growing rampant and messing with my range of motion.   That spot, McBurney’s Point, always hurts me.  It’s a troublesome spot, and since so many issues overlap right in that small region it can be so tough to decipher what’s causing what.

image source for this lovely mcburney's diagram

Since it’s likely that porphyria is my problem, I don’t take any GI meds to regulate things.  I just wing it.  That’s why it’s hard to keep things running smoothly, at least it can’t be helping.  It’s also why I’ve likely not had another major outbreak since my bowel resection (which was the Thursday before Easter in 2003, also that date that’s now our wedding anniversary, April 17).

I can’t wait to get my current health situation under wraps and be off the meds and get things back on schedule again.  Gas pains hurt so badly, being bloated and slowed up all the time is so hard for me to adjust to.  It’s why I take so many other poop-inducing meds to try and really push things along.

So back to the actual over-flowing of the can:

When it did happen recently in our home, I was the one who played plumber and picked it up.  I’m really not so sensitive to that kinda stuff, so I slapped on some gloves and got to it. I sanitized that bathroom beautifully, you would never know that anything so much as happened in there!  And well, I know that the common thought is that it takes a big situation to make the flow go backwards – but, well, I don’t think it was actually like that.  I don’t ever use an obscene amount of toilet paper, we don’t even own paper towels, I don’t flush non-toilet-appropriate things down there… it was just crappy plumbing (pun intended!).  We have very fickle pipes and plumbing here, and this is just one of many issues we’ve had lately.  Flooding dishwasher, flooding washing machine, crazy sink, running toilet, wonky shower pressure… it’s all par for the course around here.

So yeah, all that came of it was a new cleaning combo device which I like so very much.  And a little bit of time spent mopping up a rather nasty smelly mess.

This will now conclude the grossest blog post ever typed here at happy hippie rose.  If you read it, I don’t even know what to say!  Thanks?  Congrats?  Good for you?  I hope that this doesn’t gross you out and keep you away from my otherwise very nice and flowery blog.

And tune in asap for more of these wacky 30 Days prompts… I have a feeling that the really bizarre stuff is still yet to come!

As always, thanks for reading!  xoxo, hhr

30 Days of Blogging Honesty – Catch Up: Day 2, Day 3, Day 4

I’m back on my 30 Days of Blogging Honesty kick!

Don’t know what I’m talking about?  Check out Tom Baker’s OP here, rules, prompts and all.   And here are a couple of my contributions so far: my intro, my day one.

I know it’s so cheesy to lump a few together, but I’m determined to get back on track.  I’m still sick, and even though it’s been a bummer of a low-key Easter – I’m bound and determined to get my stuff together.  I’m even making dinner tonight, which is awesome and the first time I’ve cooked in a while.  I’m not getting better in a reasonable time on my own, so I’m just forcing myself to get back into some routine of normal-ish life.

So… here we go:

Day 02 — Not including food, blogging or television, my most guilty pleasure (this includes chocolate)…

celebrity-related crap. 

The funny thing about a guilty pleasure is that you have to feel somewhat guilty for it.  When it comes to candy, ice cream, reality tv, lounging in the bath tub for hours on end, taking breaks to go down to the beach, buying something I don’t really need… etc, etc, etc – I don’t feel guilty!

I love candy and sweets.  I love most things that are deemed bad for one.

So my definition of a “guilty pleasure” is something I like to partake in, even though I’m morally opposed, or I know it’s bad.  When Duggs and I like to paint or work on really messy crafts, we’ll sometimes use paper towels.  Paper towels are so EASY to use, no mess, no laundry, etc.  That’s a guilty pleasure.  It’s one I haven’t seen in our house since before Christmas and I was making a ton of holiday crafts with all kinds of paints.

Celebrity crap, like reading trashy celeb gossip blogs or buying tabloids… that’s a real guilty pleasure.  I love it, even though I hate it.  I think that the way paparazzi flocks to celebs is wrong, I think the decimation of any personal life is unfair.  I know that being a public figure has its trade-offs – but it shouldn’t be the way it is now.  We treat our celebs simultaneously like gods and like dirt.  I hate it.  I think it’s wrong.  I don’t want to support the careers of rabid paparazzi photogs who stalk celebs, I don’t want to support celebs who pull crazy crap just to drum up publicity… and yet, I read the Us Weeklies of the world, I watch the crazy TV shows that offer us lame regular folk exclusive glimpses into the fancy lives of the most illustrious of famous folk.

us weekly, probs my fave of the trashy glossies. photo source, here.

So that’s a real guilty pleasure.

Moving on!

Day 03 — Regardless of my current status, do I believe a person should save themself for marriage…

I know it might make me the mayor of rip off city to not really get into the nitty gritty of this one.  I know that controversy and craziness is part of the fun of this here 30 Day Challenge… it’s why we promise to be totally honest in our replies.

My answer to this: no, I don’t believe a person should have to remain a virgin until marriage.

It’s tough for me to come out and say that because I know a lot of my readers are strong Christians and uphold a certain caliber of moral tenacity.  I know that this answer might be disappointing, that purity is something very important to many of the Christians I know and respect – and there are plenty of save-it-until-marriage advocates I know that aren’t Christians at all.  For those who make the pro purity choice, I admire and respect their willingness to do so.

For me, though – I have a different take.  I think that consenting adults experience a relationship on a wide spectrum.  And I think that having sex is just part of this spectrum, it’s one of the pieces that goes into a healthy adult relationship.

I’m not sure how I’ll advise my future kids on this… I’m not sure how I’d talk to a teen who asked me about this.  I think it really depends on the place I’m coming from.  If I’m teaching Sunday School or working with a youth group as an official part of a church, then I think it’s important to echo the church’s beliefs and not speak out on my own.

But I also recognize teen pregnancy issues, young people with STDs… I see these realities and I feel like trying to teach abstinence just isn’t always effective.  I think safe sex education is really important, and I think that setting the stage for kids to feel comfortable asking the tough questions is how you can make a huge impact.   If a teen is okay asking me about sex, I have a real chance to offer practical advice about protection without being shut out or viewed as condemning, judging, condescending.

And when it comes to consenting pre-marital adults: I feel strongly that sound adults should be able to do whatever it is they’d like to do.  Without my judgement, attitude, or forced ideals.  Besides, my ideals – the ones that are actually mine – are okay with consenting adults doing what they’d like to do.

So.  I know this may not be popular.  I know that some readers might really be annoyed with me or let down… but I stand by my choice, and I think that my opinions don’t take away from my love for God, my willingness to be a good person and a good Christian.  I think it’s just a choice, one founded in reality and based on my own experiences.

It’s totally an individual choice, though.

If someone who is a devout Christian, or is practicing any kind of faith/lifestyle that didn’t encourage or allow pre-marital sex, I’d encourage them to keep in line with their existing ideals and to not do it.  But, I’m not going to judge someone for having sex.  It’s not my place to do so, it’s my place to love others and to try my hardest to be accepting, understanding, kind.  And, I’m not going to try to back pedal on my past behaviors or to condemn others now, while I’m already married, for a behavior type I didn’t myself uphold before I was married.

(Ugh, now all my family members reading this are totally cringing, right?  TMI? Oy.  This is a tough one!)

Of course I recognize that some physical relationships can be too much, too soon and can really hurt people in the long run.  But when approaching the issue in such a wide sense, I have to be honest here.  Specific cases will differ, some people are more or less mature than others.  Sometimes sex is used as a pawn or for the wrong reasons.  But many times sex is healthy and normal and it’s what grown ups do.

I guess I got into this way more than I wanted to, but there you have it.  If you respectfully disagree, I understand.  Just try to not go too harsh on me, though!

Day 04 — A blogger friend I’ve known for over five years told me she has been blogging anonymously all this time and most of what I know about her is her fantasy. My reaction to the news is…

totally annoyed, miffed, perplexed, and ANNOYED. 

If you want to write a fictional blog, why not just disclose that it’s fictional from the jump?

I can’t stand the whole lying online thing.  Even if you think it’s harmless and in good fun – it’s not.  Because when you portray yourself as a real person, that’s how many readers will think of you.  Readers will relate, glean advice, comfort, understanding… readers will come to get all kinds of things out of your blog – and if you were just lying or being fake, you’ve totally let them down.

I understand that people like to use the anonymity of the interwebs to engage in fictional lives, or to embellish their real ones – but why not just say that? Probably because no one would read a fictional blog, ha.

But, most of my reason here is based off the “friend” aspect of this one.  I would be so mad if someone I considered a friend was a faker.  It’s happened to me before, actually, on Internet forums… and it sucks.  It’s awful.  A girl I trusted to be a real person faked having cancer.  I’d give her advice and comfort, I was “there for her” while she was going through this supposedly awful experience… and then it turned out she was full of it the whole time!

Not the same as blogging, I know.  But still, an experience of Internet lying and fakery.  It happens too often on forums.  And even though we all know it can and does happen, it still stinks when it does.

When I think about other blogs that I read, ones where I’m not really close or friendly with the writer – well, then I don’t care so much.  I’m pretty sure Texts From Bennet is fake, but I don’t care at all.  It’s so funny.

So there ya go.

I’m actually a little nervous to hit post on this one.  But I’m being as honest as I can be… and we’ll just have to see how it goes.  If anything, this exercise is challenging me to get outside the box of what I’d normally post about, for sure.

And hopefully as the days go on, I’ll be better about sticking to the schedule.  I’m actually going to work on some more posts and queue them up so I have some consistency going on.

As always, thanks for reading!!  xoxo, hhr