I’m back on my 30 Days of Blogging Honesty kick!
I know it’s so cheesy to lump a few together, but I’m determined to get back on track. I’m still sick, and even though it’s been a bummer of a low-key Easter – I’m bound and determined to get my stuff together. I’m even making dinner tonight, which is awesome and the first time I’ve cooked in a while. I’m not getting better in a reasonable time on my own, so I’m just forcing myself to get back into some routine of normal-ish life.
So… here we go:
Day 02 — Not including food, blogging or television, my most guilty pleasure (this includes chocolate)…
The funny thing about a guilty pleasure is that you have to feel somewhat guilty for it. When it comes to candy, ice cream, reality tv, lounging in the bath tub for hours on end, taking breaks to go down to the beach, buying something I don’t really need… etc, etc, etc – I don’t feel guilty!
I love candy and sweets. I love most things that are deemed bad for one.
So my definition of a “guilty pleasure” is something I like to partake in, even though I’m morally opposed, or I know it’s bad. When Duggs and I like to paint or work on really messy crafts, we’ll sometimes use paper towels. Paper towels are so EASY to use, no mess, no laundry, etc. That’s a guilty pleasure. It’s one I haven’t seen in our house since before Christmas and I was making a ton of holiday crafts with all kinds of paints.
Celebrity crap, like reading trashy celeb gossip blogs or buying tabloids… that’s a real guilty pleasure. I love it, even though I hate it. I think that the way paparazzi flocks to celebs is wrong, I think the decimation of any personal life is unfair. I know that being a public figure has its trade-offs – but it shouldn’t be the way it is now. We treat our celebs simultaneously like gods and like dirt. I hate it. I think it’s wrong. I don’t want to support the careers of rabid paparazzi photogs who stalk celebs, I don’t want to support celebs who pull crazy crap just to drum up publicity… and yet, I read the Us Weeklies of the world, I watch the crazy TV shows that offer us lame regular folk exclusive glimpses into the fancy lives of the most illustrious of famous folk.
So that’s a real guilty pleasure.
Day 03 — Regardless of my current status, do I believe a person should save themself for marriage…
I know it might make me the mayor of rip off city to not really get into the nitty gritty of this one. I know that controversy and craziness is part of the fun of this here 30 Day Challenge… it’s why we promise to be totally honest in our replies.
My answer to this: no, I don’t believe a person should have to remain a virgin until marriage.
It’s tough for me to come out and say that because I know a lot of my readers are strong Christians and uphold a certain caliber of moral tenacity. I know that this answer might be disappointing, that purity is something very important to many of the Christians I know and respect – and there are plenty of save-it-until-marriage advocates I know that aren’t Christians at all. For those who make the pro purity choice, I admire and respect their willingness to do so.
For me, though – I have a different take. I think that consenting adults experience a relationship on a wide spectrum. And I think that having sex is just part of this spectrum, it’s one of the pieces that goes into a healthy adult relationship.
I’m not sure how I’ll advise my future kids on this… I’m not sure how I’d talk to a teen who asked me about this. I think it really depends on the place I’m coming from. If I’m teaching Sunday School or working with a youth group as an official part of a church, then I think it’s important to echo the church’s beliefs and not speak out on my own.
But I also recognize teen pregnancy issues, young people with STDs… I see these realities and I feel like trying to teach abstinence just isn’t always effective. I think safe sex education is really important, and I think that setting the stage for kids to feel comfortable asking the tough questions is how you can make a huge impact. If a teen is okay asking me about sex, I have a real chance to offer practical advice about protection without being shut out or viewed as condemning, judging, condescending.
And when it comes to consenting pre-marital adults: I feel strongly that sound adults should be able to do whatever it is they’d like to do. Without my judgement, attitude, or forced ideals. Besides, my ideals – the ones that are actually mine – are okay with consenting adults doing what they’d like to do.
So. I know this may not be popular. I know that some readers might really be annoyed with me or let down… but I stand by my choice, and I think that my opinions don’t take away from my love for God, my willingness to be a good person and a good Christian. I think it’s just a choice, one founded in reality and based on my own experiences.
It’s totally an individual choice, though.
If someone who is a devout Christian, or is practicing any kind of faith/lifestyle that didn’t encourage or allow pre-marital sex, I’d encourage them to keep in line with their existing ideals and to not do it. But, I’m not going to judge someone for having sex. It’s not my place to do so, it’s my place to love others and to try my hardest to be accepting, understanding, kind. And, I’m not going to try to back pedal on my past behaviors or to condemn others now, while I’m already married, for a behavior type I didn’t myself uphold before I was married.
(Ugh, now all my family members reading this are totally cringing, right? TMI? Oy. This is a tough one!)
Of course I recognize that some physical relationships can be too much, too soon and can really hurt people in the long run. But when approaching the issue in such a wide sense, I have to be honest here. Specific cases will differ, some people are more or less mature than others. Sometimes sex is used as a pawn or for the wrong reasons. But many times sex is healthy and normal and it’s what grown ups do.
I guess I got into this way more than I wanted to, but there you have it. If you respectfully disagree, I understand. Just try to not go too harsh on me, though!
Day 04 — A blogger friend I’ve known for over five years told me she has been blogging anonymously all this time and most of what I know about her is her fantasy. My reaction to the news is…
totally annoyed, miffed, perplexed, and ANNOYED.
If you want to write a fictional blog, why not just disclose that it’s fictional from the jump?
I can’t stand the whole lying online thing. Even if you think it’s harmless and in good fun – it’s not. Because when you portray yourself as a real person, that’s how many readers will think of you. Readers will relate, glean advice, comfort, understanding… readers will come to get all kinds of things out of your blog – and if you were just lying or being fake, you’ve totally let them down.
I understand that people like to use the anonymity of the interwebs to engage in fictional lives, or to embellish their real ones – but why not just say that? Probably because no one would read a fictional blog, ha.
But, most of my reason here is based off the “friend” aspect of this one. I would be so mad if someone I considered a friend was a faker. It’s happened to me before, actually, on Internet forums… and it sucks. It’s awful. A girl I trusted to be a real person faked having cancer. I’d give her advice and comfort, I was “there for her” while she was going through this supposedly awful experience… and then it turned out she was full of it the whole time!
Not the same as blogging, I know. But still, an experience of Internet lying and fakery. It happens too often on forums. And even though we all know it can and does happen, it still stinks when it does.
When I think about other blogs that I read, ones where I’m not really close or friendly with the writer – well, then I don’t care so much. I’m pretty sure Texts From Bennet is fake, but I don’t care at all. It’s so funny.
So there ya go.
I’m actually a little nervous to hit post on this one. But I’m being as honest as I can be… and we’ll just have to see how it goes. If anything, this exercise is challenging me to get outside the box of what I’d normally post about, for sure.
And hopefully as the days go on, I’ll be better about sticking to the schedule. I’m actually going to work on some more posts and queue them up so I have some consistency going on.
As always, thanks for reading!! xoxo, hhr