Black Lung Out, Insomnia In: A Lyrical Look At My Health These Days.

Howdy readers, pals, random web browsers who have stumbled here and have no clue of the incoherent weirdness with which you’re now facing head on!

So, last we chatted about my health I was going on and on about the mold issue in our home in Hawaii.  I’m happy, hell – ECSTATIC, to report that since leaving the home of the mold, I’m feeling much better.  Markedly, gloriously BETTER.  It’s amazing the difference, actually.  I think at first I was nervous to come right out and say it, out of fear that it would be short lived or something else.  But alas, it’s been a few months now and I just feel better all the time.  So, for me, the debate on the mold issue is settled: there was mos def something in that house that was crippling me, killing me softly.

Overall I feel great day to day.

I’m down on meds, at a very low level and in the process of a final taper.  Which given the past 18 months I’ve faced is quite incredible, honestly.  It feels amazing, I’m more than blessed to be writing from this vantage point right now.

I mean, clearly there’s no cure for Porphyria.  I’ll deal with that my whole life.  I’ve actually had one small flare since moving here – last month was a (ready? TMI is a-coming now…) right ovary month, and the cysts must still be there.  After a few months reprieve, last month was AWFUL.  Some of my close gal pals can attest, I was tethered to a heating pad and hunched over for several days.  It was so severe, it caught me off guard.  And of course in my domino reaction of a body – one thing can and will trigger something else.  Thus, the stress of acute pain sends me into a Porphyria-based decompensation (fancy way of saying “an attack”).  I carb/glucose loaded though and headed it off at the pass.

I’d like to thank my darling husband for his extreme attentiveness and ability to identify the early warning symptoms better than I can (honestly).  It’s what really helped us to keep things down to a little blip on the radar and not a colossal melt down.

So, the ovarian cysts.  That sucks, yes.   Not tragic though, so don’t cry for me Argentina.  It’s fine!   This month is business as usual and it seems as though Lefty-the-Other-Ovary is fully functional and normal.  To inquiring minds: fear not, I’ll seek the proper medical attention about all of this.  No more winging it, I promise.  But really, it doesn’t feel too urgent to be seen these days as  I’m basically fine.   Well.  Insomnia – that’s the only other ailment I really could mention.

The funny thing about Insomnia though, I don’t really hate it.  I’m a legit insomniac because I’m not ever tired.  I don’t drag all day, and at this point I’m consuming little-to-no caffeine.  I just don’t sleep.  It’s weird.  I always feel in the early hours of evening that I’ll be nice and sleepy come night time… and then, a flip switches and I just get that second wind.

the sunsetting over lake erie last weekend – as night comes on, i wake up.

Night time is a magical, quiet, intoxicating time.  I adore the sun and daylight, believe me.  But night is oh so nice too.

Last night I stayed up until about 5:30am today – at which time I rested for a couple hours.

Don’t scold me!  I know with the upcoming marathon this won’t do at all.  I know how paramount sleep is to proper recovery and healing, as well as overall health and injury prevention.  It’s not an every night, up all the time thing.  It just sometimes strikes me and that’s it- no sleep (’till Brooklyn).  I think it’s genetic.  I know my mother is a crazy night owl and often prone to Insomnia as well.  And my Dad, i don’t think he’s averaged more than four hours a night my entire life.  He just doesn’t sleep like the average person does.

Last night was one of those great nights to be alive.  After these hot, cloudless days – the crisp night air is an incredibly welcome change.  I actually ended up going for a nice long run around 1:30am.  It was gorgeous.  I love night running… the low moon hung huge, in a pretty golden crescent and the cool air felt awesome on my skin as I ran miles all over this sleepy rural town.  Afterwards I came home to a quite house, and I stretched and showered.   Still wide awake, a devilish idea struck and I found myself at Tim Horton’s moments later.   After a surprisingly good bagel breakfast sandwich I was able to feel sleep lapping at my body and mind.

drive thru, with my twenty pack giving me the eye

a very dark and kinda creepy, mostly terrible pic of me in the drive thru

thumbs up for getting the egg white version, thumbs down for bacon. oops!

Overall, I have no complaints!

When I was so consumed with the mold and it was taking over my body, I was sleeping SO MUCH.  Like, 16 hours a day kind of much.  Lethargic is an understatement.  Having energy and stamina now is a welcome blessing!  After the year and a half I’ve had, I’m very ready and willing to sweep the inconveniences under the rug and focus on the monumental improvement of which I feel.   And better I do feel – it’s amazing actually, liberating and nice.  It feels good to be awake, energized, and alive.

It’s been a long time coming.

FIN.

As always, thanks for reading!  xoxo, hhr  

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4 responses

  1. My right Ovarie gave me hell to with Cyst. However my left is my friend with my 2 cuties pies i have. 🙂 Glad you are feeling better.

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