No seriously, I have ANOTHER malady:
Add it to Your List, I have Ovarian Cysts
Not only is the title of this blog post catchy because of it’s rhyme, it’s very true and the latest of my many, many diagnoses.
When I was little I was really enchanted by the whole survival-of-the-fittest ideology. I liked that tough and resolute people, plants, and animals, that were better or tougher, would stick it out over time, their badass genes passing on and on.
Now that I’m a chronic sickie I get really sad and think that I’m just supposed to get washed out of the life cycle. I’m not tough enough to withstand. I mean, seriously… I know I’m smart and cool, and I used to be somewhat athletic – so those are good genes. But my health!?!? Come on.
Childbearing is one of my biggest dreams; when I get sick, I take pause and wonder if I really should procreate.
Man, that’s too much of a bummer to dwell on for now. Only time will tell, and God’s way will happen… so I’m not going to sweat it at this moment. It’s just one of those thoughts that pops up sometimes, and I can’t really ignore it, but I have no proper way to answer it. Yet.
Anyways, without further depressing discussion, I’ll inform all of you lovely readers:
I have ovarian cysts.
Warning: the following WILL discuss women’s health and all the pretty particulars.
Friday, December 2nd, I ended up in the ER. As soon as I woke up that day, I knew something was amiss. I was bleeding, and it had only been a week since my period ended. I usually have a blessedly short period, and my end-of-November period situation lasted triple the time it normally does. Weird, right?
But weird things happen to me all the time. So I blew it off.
(also, I kinda want to re-phrase that part about my end-of-november period to read “the situation” instead of just using the word “situation” in case “mike, the situation,” happens to be googling himself … ya know, so i can make him read about periods and female reproductive organs instead of spray tans and bottle service. but this little interlude has done the job just fine. can you tell i have adhd?).
Only a week after my super long period, I start bleeding and I get this really bad weird cramping. Dreadful, burning cramping, all on the right side. Yikes. This would likely be a red flag for most people (haha, pun intended!)… but yeah, I’m accustomed to weird, to pain, to maladies.
Also, let’s not forget I have had a bowel resection and my anastomosis is down in my right lower quadrant, as well as an inguinal hernia repair, and I had an appendectomy. r]Resultant of all three prior surgeries, I had to get a fourth surgery to burn out some scar tissue. So that place is a literal mess. When things hurt there, it’s so hard to differentiate a possible cause. Those hernia repairs never really get you back to 100%, and mine is sore and strange pretty often. In general, having had four surgeries in the same area is intense, that’s a lot of collective cutting and sewing, over and over again.
So. It was hurty and I was bleeding. I go to the ER. They assume it’s porphyria causing me to have irregular bleeding and send me home. Awesome.
(Rather eager to get out of the hospital instead of being admitted, I did tend to agree with the physician super quick. He was on the fence, and consulted with a whole mess of others docs before he reluctantly signed me out. So yeah, I had my motives to sleep in my own bed too, ya know!)
One home, the cramps get worse, the pain moves to my side: flank pain. The clots get bigger. I keep bleeding.
I finally got in to my primary care doc on Wednesday. She ordered an ultrasound, which happened the following Friday (I should do a whole separate rant on the terrible, terrible treatment I received at the u/s appointment, but I’m trying to stay on task. Let’s just say it was FOUL). My PCM was assuming and speculating it was an ovarian cyst, and for the record, Viper also correctly diagnosed this from the jump.
Today, I got the official results and sure as rain, I have some cysts rolling around in there. Little marbles of fun, just waiting to pop at any time and totally mess up my schedule! I have marbles in my baby maker <– i like the sound of that one the best, we’ll go with that from now on.
I have marbles in my baby maker.
As of now, there is no follow-up recommended, they’re just going to wait and see what happens. Hopefully my body absorbs them and they just go away.
In regards to Friday a week ago, the theories are that:
- a) I actually had a bigger cyst in there as well that ruptured,
- b) one or both of these cysts leaked, or
- c) the cysts caused some irritation which led to the irregular bleeding.
So there we have it.
Having an answer >>>>>> guesswork + assuming I’m off my rocker.
And just for this blog, I Google Image searched for some lovely ovarian cyst illustrations, and I am more than pleased with the results:
Okay. So I’m okay, and things have calmed down a great deal. I think whatever happened ten days ago has gotten better. We’ll see if anything happens in the future, and I’m just so praying it does not!
Since I previously mentioned the ER trip in another post, and I always ramble and ramble about my health, I figured I’d go ahead and explain THE SITUATION.
hahahahahahahahahahaha! Take that, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino from MTV’s hit reality show Jersey Shore.
And I’m done.
as always, thanks for reading!! xoxo, hhr