There are two endeavors into which i truly believe that, if time and practice was invested, i could excel: competitive eating and rapping.
I’m totally being serious here.
Ever since I was a kid I could throw down some food. I’ve won some eating contests before, the High School Food Olympics of 2000 was amazing, I won the Publix bakery cookie challenge, eating something like 85 cookies in under thirty minutes, without vomming. In my Pine Crest Swim Camp days, I’d always do the pie eating contest during Color Wars, and I won, at least once. And even just recently at Hope Chapel, I did the hot dog contest! I mean, I almost had that one too… but once some other guy beat me, I spit out all my buns (I went meat first, then buns – soaked in water. yuck, right? yuck).
But seriously. I LOVE eating. I can eat a lot. It’s an act of restraint at every meal to stop myself at a reasonable portion. It’s a miracle of metabolism and lack of intestines (I am missing a couple feet ever since ’03) that I don’t weight 5,000 lbs.
I always say I want to competitively eat, but I never do. How does one break into it? How do I train without getting fat? Is this an absurd dream?
The other thing I’m obscenely good at: rapping.
We have Rap Star for our PS3, and I am so good at it! Like, wicked good. Better than everyone I know. I’ve always been pretty sick with a rhyme, and for a white girl I have mad flow. When I was little, I could do this crazy auctioneer voice and I used the think that speed talking or being an auctioneer of some sort was gonna be my ultimate occupation. But auctioneering doesn’t appeal to me (unless it’s cattle auctions, we used to pick up televised cattle auctions on our old school satellite dish growing up, and I loved to watch those).
But rapping, I think I could be really good at it! Ever watch Flipping Out on Bravo? The girl on that show raps! Jenni Pulos: http://www.bravotv.com/flipping-out/bio/jenni-pulos She’s making a kids’ rap album, how crazy is that?!? I could so do that.
Or, I could just be a legit rapper.
The only thing that seems tricky is if I have to do one of those freestyle battles like on 8 Mile. I don’t know about all that. I mean, I used to call into 102 Jamz (Orlando, err Jamlando, Florida’s best hip hop station) when they’d do the “Roll Call” and you could rap like a couple lines, and if you said “Rewind!” you could go again, and I’d always rewind and do double the rapping. But it was always really lame, like “R to the O to the S to the E, all the hot boys wanna get with me” and so on. My friend Brain and I would always call in before swim practice and try to get on! Ha!
So there you have it. Food and rap, two of my unearthed passions. I just feel like I’m at a crossroads, do I let life keep passing me by without investigating these talents or what?
P.S. Third place unexplored talent? Horseback riding. Oh man. I shoulda been a rodeo star by now or something. Oh man, oh man.