So when I first got the idea to start a blog I thought I’d post like every day or so and just kinda talk about what I did that day, what was going on, etc. Like a journal that my loved ones could have access too, a more long-winded FB status. (we all know I’m wordy. whew). I totally thought it would be like this lame thing that I just did so my family and friends could “follow along” with my life, and so I could have a sorta public self-dialogue about my comings and goings, my thoughts and feelings… just like a way to document my experiences for myself, but also share them with people I know (and love).
That sounds so egotistical, like my life is so fantastic that everybody cares. But for a girl from the sticks of Central Flroida – living our here in Hawaii IS exciting and fancy, and all the cool places I get to see isn’t something to be taken for granted. And when I’m old and gray I want to remember these days.
So those were my intentions. And then it sorta grew on me overnight. In a really good way!
But its funny how it is on my end. Do y’all realize I’m just sitting in bed pecking away on my lappy and hoping someone is out there reading my ramblings?
(betcha both my mom and mother-in-law, maybe others, just read that last photo caption and are totally raising a brow at “bee tee dubs” and “ftw,” going huh? what is she talking about? bee tee dubs = B. T. W. = by the way; ftw = “for the win,” its a slang for when something is good)
I mean, I don’t even own a camera right now, and I hardly know how to use wordpress. (I used to own not one, but TWO, Olympus waterproof digi cams and both have utterly died on me. Its so sad. And no I don’t have the receipts so I can’t mail them to Olympus – I ALREADY tried that! Trust me! So almost all my bloggin pics are iphone snapshots – unless I steal pics from someone with a better cam).
This blog o’mine has become way more than I expected it to, and quickly, and I’m so excited for that!
This blog… oy…
- it’s my soapbox! (Which, if you’re a passionate person – having a soapbox is so relieving. It feels so good)
- it’s become a way to relive group experiences (ex: the Arise and Shine Retreat, and Sasha’s wedding; mind you, from MY point of view)
- its a way to shed awareness on issues that maybe people are afraid to talk about (I mean health-related stuff here, faith-based stuff too)
- hopefully, its a way to help others live better: GREEN cleaning tips (more to come i promise), healthy recipes, craft ideas, HAPPINESS
- it’s a witness to my faith – which is both scary and cool to be so bold about something i’ve never talked about publicly before
- its documenting our current war experience, from the homefront perspective. maybe one day kids in a history class will care?
Anyways, this blog has become so many things and I’m excited to embrace them and try and live up to them:
I just got home from the Women of Hope monthly Worship event, and I’ll be writing that up soon. It was awesome and powerful for sure! And in general, I want to talk about my faith and how I got to where I’m at, and why I’m happy to be here (really happy to be here).
I’ve had some brilliant beach days lately and I totally need to brag and talk about that. And I’ve been doing some gentle yoga that is really lifting my spirits so much lately. Oh I heart yoga.
I’m going to the North Shore tomorrow to hopefully try and catch this freakshow late season swell that we’re getting right now (I read it was 20+ at Pipe today, oooh eee!).
I want to teach people how to make friendship bracelets, and how to clean their houses in greener ways (did you know my household is papertowelless? amazing!). I want to keep inventing weird recipes and posting about them. Healthy clean living is awesome.
In a few months when my husband comes home I want to document and share the amazing JOY that is homecoming. I want to talk about the transitions we’ll face together: deployment to home life, and then shortly thereafter will be the transition from military life to civilian life. And hopefully soon thereafter we’ll give the whole pregnancy thing a shot again. I hope we will anyways.
Rose Right Now – A Personal Update
I’m doing great! I love my life, and I really feel so overly blessed. My husband loves me so much and he’s so good to me. I live in a beautiful paradise. I spend my days doing fun things, even on my stay at home days I’ve gotten back into my art and my crafting and I spend my time in all kinds of fun, joyful ways. Its really awesome and I am really lucky.
My family, as always, is amazing (and that means my Duggan family too now!) I have amazing friends – both here and far away. I get letters and fun treats in the mail, as well as getting spoiled rotten all the time here (you ladies who buy my lunch, take care of me, send me care packs – oh I love you so much. I am blessed and grateful!).
I feel like I live in a fairytale. I hope my joy isn’t annoying, and that instead its actually contagious. LIFE IS GOOD!
JJ (the pooch) is doing well. He’s as cute and happy as ever! He’s getting some shots on Monday, but he doesn’t know it yet. Poor guy, but its good for him and I try hard to make sure he’s taken care of on all levels. (he is the most spoiled dog in the universe).
Deployment: For right now I’m just trying to go one day at a time.
Matthew’s unit is getting extended by a short amount of time, but its just a couple weeks so its no big deal.
Matthew himself is doing well. Sleep-deprived, but well. He’s working hard and he’s keeping a great attitude about the whole thing. He’s an awesome Marine and I respect him for how very hard he works.
I just… I sure do miss my husband. I’m such a chin-up kinda gal I know I’m okay. I just wrote a whole blog about the upside to deployments, and my views on how to cope. But in practice, it gets hard some days. Communication has been crappy – meaning, good times are when he can call every 3ish days. The norm has been once a week, and there have been a couple stretches that got even crappier in the 11+ day zone. (We haven’t Skyped since he was in Kurgystan, and I’m not expecting to see his face till homecoming; his ability to get online is sporadic and the connection they have is crappy).
But, the love letters keep a-coming, and when we do talk its mushy city… I’m in awe of seeing our love grow and develop despite the distance and circumstance. Our marriage is built on such a solid rock foundation because of making it through these deployments. I love my husband so much! And I love our marriage! Marriage is the best gift God has ever blessed me with.
Until he comes home, I just pray for his safety – and the safety of all the Marines with him. Of all our deployed service members, actually. (Shout out to my cousin who just got to Afghan himself. Having fun yet, turd?)
Our 1st anniversary is in less than 3 weeks. I just miss him. I love him. I want to live like newlyweds and just be together and be mushy.
And my feets need to get rubbed on! Oh how I miss foot and backrubs. And smooches. SMOOCHES!! gah. Good thing people hug each other at church: its the only human touch I experience other than doctors (and that’s not remotely pleasant). And if you know how my husband and I are when we’re together – well you know we’re those annoying all-over-each-other hand-holdy types.
It’s one of those weird things you don’t think about until it happens to you… but it makes a big difference in quality of life. Human contact is important. Touch is a really powerful thing. THANK GOD FOR POOCH SMOOCHES or else I’d have gone insane with untouchedness by now.
Health-wise I have good days and bad days. I have good mornings and crummy afternoons, vice versa. I’m up to the max dose of the gabapentin right now, and that seems to be helping. I’m still using narcotics for pain control, which sucks – I’m ready to be drug free. But I’m not there yet; on my “bad days” the pain is unbearable and even the drugs don’t help at all. Moist heat seems to help, so does sleeping; I meditate, I pray. Distraction helps a lot too: so I call up someone, watch some TV, play with the pooch, blog, etc.
(ya know… I used to be down to one prescription (synthroid) and vitamins each day, and now I take 38 pills most days. WOW. Thirty-eight pills a day. That’s no fun. But they help me feel better, so I am grateful for them).
I have an MRI coming up in about 10 days, and that should help us narrow down for sure what’s going on. Most likely it really is “atypical trigeminal neuralgia” caused by the Porphyria making my facial nerve get all swoll, but they gotta rule out the brain tumor possibility. So we shall see. (Even though I’m confident my MRI will be just fine and healthy – the fact that I need one to make sure there ain’t no brain tumor, that’s well… creepy).
I don’t have as much pep in my step as I should, and that makes me sad. I get tired easily and I have to take it easy. Taking it easy is hard for me as I like to go, go, go. The meds I’m on now aren’t conducive for babymaking, which is also opening up a lot of scary what-ifs. Sigh. Cross that bridge when we get to it, duh.
But I am OPTIMISTIC. And I don’t feel anxiety over my health situation. I have such awesome doctors, and I know I’m in good hands. And well, I’m walking, talking, thinking, and still able to have so much fun and live my life. I can’t run a marathon tomorrow. But I can get out and go to the beach, I can wake up and do a nice yoga flow (which I’ve done EVERY day this week!!) – I can do things so many people can’t, and I don’t want to take that for granted.
Okay, so there I go being long-winded as usual when all I wanted to do was say “hi!” and mention that things had been good as of late.
Life is good.
Thank you all for reading… it’s my bedtime now, but there are many more fun things to come in the future. Of my life and of this blog – I’m excited and happy about both.